Murphy

One important fact about Murphy's Law was that it was not actually coined by Murphy, but by another man of the same name.

Seamstress Law
As ye sew, so shall ye rip. (And that's quite a problem now that I've lost both my rippers.)

What happens when Donald Duck flies upside down? He quacks up.

Toddler Laws
If I like it, it is mine;
if I think it is mine, it is;
if I saw it first, it's mine;
if I had it then put it down, it is still mine;
if you had it and then put it down, it is now mine.

A workaholic should have two wives--then he will neglect each one only half as much.

Work smarder, not harder (and watch your speling). -- I have a bottle of cleaner that says on it "More Fider Power!"

If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed.