Who needs translators, anyway?

Signs from around the world:

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Doctor's office, Rome:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Italian cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

Hotel brochure, Italy:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.

From the "Soviet Weekly":
Here will be a Moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
For you convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.

In an East African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.